Week 3

Yo Vertigo, I don't quite know how to put this, but this week's newsletter is kind of a big deal... Check out what we've got going on for y'all below!

Game Recaps:

Morningwood 3 Dogballs 1: Hmm Morningwood? Dogballs? I'm pretty sure I could come up with something innapropriate here. Instead I'll just go ahead and say that Morningwood is the team to beat this season, and that the Dogballs will get some wins down the road once their kickballing skills catch up with their drinking abilities.

PODYatrists 6 Drunkaroos 6: Drunkaroos won the tie-breaker, but don't expect that to crush the PODY's spirits as they head into another week of competition. The PODY's Dave Lande tied the game up in the 4th to send it into overtime, where despite their best efforts the Roos came out on top.

I Am McLovin 2 Everlasting Gobstoppers 4: McLovin got their clocks cleaned this weekend, finally dropping a tough one in the L column. Congrats to the EG's for stopping their losing skid and putting up 4 against a tough squad!

Menace 2 Sobriety 6 vs Afternoon Delights 0: Menace 2 Sobriety is making a comeback, launching 6 runs against what looked like a promising band of rooks in Afternoon Delight! Tough break for the AD's, but hats off to M2S as they get things together.

Sunkiss Our Balls 1 Bagpipers 3: There wasn't a score listed and no recap was submitted for this game, but I'm pretty confident in my guessing abilities. The Bagpipers failed to supply refs this past weekend however and will receive a paper forfeit because of that. Regardless the BP's earned this win. Sunkiss will try to turn things around this weekend against the only other undefeated team in our league (besides Morningwood) The Playground Bullies.

The Playground Bullies 5 Sleazy Bandeezee 3: Who knew the PB's would tackle Sleazy this past weekend? Bandeezee were the undefeated champs a season ago with 2 Wins in their pocket against the Bullies when last season was all wrapped up. The PB's earned their redemption however, knocking in 3 runs during the first inning and never looking back.

Seventh Inning Stretch:

Hey gang, if you're like me than the work week in general is the lamest time of the year for you. I know its called work and not "super-awesome-fun-time" for a reason, but great googly-moogly does it suck. Anywho, the point is, hopefully these newsletters are doing a decent job of tiding you over until the weekend arrives. Check out this week's SIS section for an easy-peasy way to capture the glory and live like the king or queen of kickball.

Last week I was all about being there for you, showing you the money and enhancing your game day experience. I was just like your reporter in the field or a wet-n-slimy security blanket. This week though, its time for you kids to man up, and get your acts together! Sooner or later I'm gonna get better at remembering names and faces, and then I'm gonna wanna rant about you... I mean, talk you up to the entire league! So you gotta ask yourself, do you wanna hear your name dropped by that hot guy/chick at the bar, get invited to all the cool after-parties, and see your name in print!? Yes!? Well then you gotta follow my 11 step program! Its quick, its easy and it'll get everyone to notice you *guaranteed* (results may vary)!

The following might appear similar to last week's 13 NGE's, but those were more about finding ways to have a good time. This week's list is all about you getting those 15 minutes of fame, each and every week! So heed my advice homeslice, and check out how you, yes you, can become notorious among your kickballin' compatriots:

1. Meet me at Kezar! I don't care if you're a baller on the field, the bar is where you make a name for yourself! Mostly because I forget peoples' names before I get drunk, and I'm assuming that's a universal trait amongst all kickballers.
2. Don't be a dick, no wait, be a dick! Chances are the louder, more annoying, and obnoxious you are, the easier it'll be for us to remember your name. So if you wanna be a wise-ass that's cool, just realize we're gonna remember your name for all the wrong reasons. ***But don't be too much of a pirate-hooker, per Jeremiah's e-mail regarding Waka standards on kickballer decorum last week. Bottom line: wash your dirty mouth, words hurt. Oh, and no fighting, or reach-arounds, that's heavily frowned upon during the most holiest of days, which would be game day of course!***
3. Lets find a compromise; be loud and obnoxious, but at the same time non-confrontational and bitchy. I'm pretty sure all y'all can pull that off on any given Sunday. So go for it!
4. Help me, help you. You wanna make friends in this league, or get your name tossed around like a $5 hooker? Help out on the field by reffing, joining a team short on players (if they need a hand), or buying a pitcher at the bar for flip cup. Every little bit counts gang!
5. Get your drink on! Numerous after school specials, and school counselors tried to persuade me away from applying peer pressure, but I forgot all that garbage by my second semester of college. Its a scientifically proven fact; the more you drink, the more people will like you!! Plus, even if its not backed up by some sort of research, it'll still be fun to watch you make an ass out of yourself. Besides, we need more footage for our Ridiculous Photos of the Week anyway!
6. Make a move! There's nothing better than being that guy who finds a special someone on the kickball field... Except maybe if you're watching that guy take a knee to the groin after dropping a lame pickup line! Okay, that was harsh, but getting to know your fellow kickballer is what this league should be about. So introduce yourself to that guy or girl across the flip cup table before you make a mockery of their pride and wo/manhood!
7. Hit a homerun! Sure it takes time, practice, the right amount of strength, speed and wind to get it out of the park, but once you get it done, teams the league over will revere you (especially if you're a girl)!
8. Play like a champion! At flip cup that is! Think about it, people are screaming, getting rowdy, and there you are hitting it on one flip everytime. Its the easiest way to get all the glory! My advice: if you aren't born with it, then you gotta practice, any local bar should do.
9. Accentuate your assets! If you're like me, than you're swimming in your team t-shirt; so ladies, you gotta find a way to bust outta your shell and get the exposure you've been waiting for. Trust me, on the field or in the bar, guys will know where you are! And fellas, I think we need to overlook this rule, there's a reason sleeveless tees are called wife-beaters.
10. Make a name for yourself! No, not by just following the advice listed here, but by doing something outrageously awesome, dumb, or hopefully both that earns you a quality nickname among your teammates or opponents. You know something like; Sloppyseconds, Team Bitch, Captain Insano, Weakest Link, Chesty LaRue, or Brya (apologies to my brother).
11. Bribery pays people! In case you didn't figure that out from rule # 13 last week!

Periodical Prognostications:

1. I can't believe my team lost, so obviously I'm gonna predict that they bounce back this weekend in a HUGE matchup against the Playground Bullies. (Just want to point out that I wasn't there this weekend, nor will I be there this upcoming weekend, but I expect that our captains will find a way to right the ship regardless.)
2. There's another big late game matchup this weekend featuring team PODYatrists taking on I Am McLovin, expect that to be a very spirited match. I'm picking the PODY's for the win.
3. SF Natives take on the Drunkaroos this weekend, with the SF Natives coming off a bye week expect them to jump out to an early lead and not look back.
4. My "best bet" prediction-o-the-week is: Someone will wonder if I died on Sunday since I've missed two weeks of the season already.
5. My "out of left field" predicition this week is: Sleazy Bandeezee loses three in a row.

Poll of the Week:

Okay, originally I was going to have us vote on a theme for Week 5, but that's been decided. (Pirate Theme for Week 5 by the way!) So this week's poll is gonna be way more trivial. Summer's just around the corner, and that means epic movies will be bursting on to the scene left and right, which ones are you most interested in checking out this year? Below are previews for some of the front runners, which I've listed in our poll on the right.

Based on whichever movie receives the most votes we may organize a league-wide movie night to check out that flick and follow it up with some pubcrawling. Whaddya say, sound like a plan!? Cool, then go vote!

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Ironman
Batman: the Dark Knight

Photo of the Week:


Click this week's Photo winner to collect tips on how you can get your team featured here in the future.

Kickballers of the Week:

Shawn Fields of team Morningwood for his defensive play this past weekend. Captain Brian Francis had this to say of Shawn, "he turned in an unassisted triple-play in the game yesterday, okay there was already one out so technically it was a double-play, but still it was awesome!"

Christy Mignacca of The Playground Bullies is the other player receiving honors this week. Christy "Critters" scored the final run securing the PB's a victory over the (once) unstoppable squad of Sleazy Bandeezee. Captain Kim Huynh also praised Christy for her base running abilities as well.

Ridiculous Photo of the Week:


I don't even know what to write here. Click the pic and leave your comments!

Video of the Week:


This is a perfect example of what typically happens when you combine a children's game with drunken Kickballers.

Quick Kicks:

1. Jacob of team Afternoon Delight found a pair of Men's, Black, Addidas cleats. If they're yours please track Jacob down this upcoming Sunday.
2. Review the e-mail Sarah O. sent on Monday detailing a couple of important rules we need to follow before Sunday.
3. Remember for WEEK 5 we're dressing up like Pirates! Team who has the most members representing the Pirate Theme wins 3 Pitches of Beer!