Week 5.7566666

That's not a typo in the Week title, that's a 6 repeating. Remember those on your Ti-82 calculator back in high school? For you young kids, that's a Ti-1000 or something to you.

WORD TO THE WISE ON ETIQUETTE AT A LEAGUE-WIDE BAR PARTY: do not order round after round of shots (1-2 rounds should suffice). Last season our open bar was not timed, it was capped at a certain sales point. So lets say our sales limit is $1500, meaning we threw down 1500-smackers so everyone could enjoy their alcohol free of charge until our money runs out. So basically if you order several rounds of shots (2 oz of booze), or better still a car bomb (or jager bomb, which is 2 oz of liquor and either some cheap beer or red bull) it'll probably run you between $6-8 per person. Take in the fact that it only takes 2 seconds to swig back a jager bomb or shot, and we'll run outta mulla pretty quick. Which is exactly what happened last year at our league party when team Stoney Island showed up early (for the first time in the history of their team) and kept ordering themselves round upon round of shots/jager bombs. And by the way, what ever happened to Stoney Island? Hmm? Odds are they're probably playing in another league, OR ARE THEY!? (Insert dramatic chimpmunk music here.)

Anyway, I'm just trying to facilitate a very high fun factor for this upcoming league wide party by telling everyone to; "be kind, by ordering your friends full sized alcoholic beverages, cause only midgets get drunk off 2 oz of booze." Apologies for using the un-PC term of "midget" to any of you who were just offended. Also, apologies to anyone who got offended for me apologizing to those people who take life too seriously by getting pissed off by the use of un-PC terms like "midget" or "retard." (But Charles you didn't use "retard" in a sentence yet. Oh really!?) Anyone who misses the VERTIGO KICKBALL PARTY ON JUNE 21st is a retard! There, happy now!?

A reminder that our Week 7 Theme is gonna be I LOVE THE 80'S so get your acts together for that ridiculous day of awesomeness!